So, Do These Come In My Size?!?

Gap just introduced their Paddington Bear collection for babies and I want it all! It is so stinking cute but of course so expensive - I mean I don't spend that much on my own clothing most of the time [ hello Vermont outlets! ]. Luckily I have some Gap Cash so I get $50 off $100 and Finn just so happens to be going up in size again [ he really needs to stop growing already! ] Anyways, here is my Paddington Bear wishlist for Finn [ the condensed version at least :) ]

Happy 1 Month Finnegan

Wow, this has been the quickest month of my life by far, but definitely the best too. We have been blessed with an amazing baby that we love more than we ever thought possible. I've decided to write letters to him every month with his developments, what makes him happy and sad and how we're doing as a family. And some pictures of the cutest baby ever :)

Dear Finnegan,
   I can't believe you have already been here for one month! It has been the quickest month which makes me both happy and sad. Happy to watch you grow up but sad that you will soon be graduating kindergarden, 6th grade, high school, college and then you'll be getting married and having your own kids. I know I'm getting ahead of myself but I know it will all be going by too quickly.
   You are a pretty big boy but to us you still seem so little. You eat A LOT and your dad and I are reluctantly waiting for the days [ years is more like it ] when you eat us out of house and home. Luckily you sleep amazing as of now, between 5-7 hours at a time and then we put you into bed with us and you sleep for another 3 hours. You barely cry unless you are hungry and you would rather nap in my arms than in your seat. You hate having your diaper changed, which is pretty often but when you're cranky and can't fall asleep we put you in your moby wrap and you pass right out.
   You are starting to smile when mommy and daddy smile at you and when I talk in a high pitched voice. You hate the pacifier and instead you love sucking on dad's pinky. We've taken you on a few trips and you pass right out when you're in the car which is a good thing since we'll be taking lots of trips in the next year.
   I can't wait to see what the next month will bring. Mommy and daddy love you very much and we're so happy to have such an amazing little boy in our lives!
Love,
Mommy

Finnegan's Birth Story

One of Finn's first pictures!

I've been going over Finnegan's birth story in my head a lot hoping to remember more and more and so that I don't forget any details.

Finnegan's birth story begins at my 39 week midwife appointment on July 16, where I was 3cm and 70% effaced. I was sooo happy and figured this meant he would be coming any day, but boy was I wrong. That week Tom and I started walking everyday for at least 2 miles and up to 4 miles a day. I had my 40 week appointment on Wednesday July 24th (2 days after my due date) and I was still 3cm dilated but I was 80% effaced so I had my membranes swept in hopes of starting labor. Still no sign of labor I went to my next appointment on Monday July 29th where I was 5cm dilated and 80% effaced. The midwife said that it was very uncommon for first time moms to be this dilated and not be in active labor. On Wednesday July 31st I was feeling very crampy and nervous so my midwife had me go to the hospital for a non stress test but of course still nothing strong enough so they sent me home. Of course I called Tom before I went and told him to leave work and meet me at the hospital (45mins away) because I really thought they were going to keep me, but they didn't. I had an ultrasound scheduled for 1:45 that same day to check my fluid levels so we went to lunch and went to my appointment. At the appointment, the doctor said she could barely find any fluid so she called my midwife and they decided to send me back to the hospital to be induced. Thank goodness I made Tom leave work since it really was going to happen. We called my parents to tell them they could finally come up since today was the day!

We waited for my midwife to get to the Birth Center and at 3:10pm she broke my water in hopes of starting labor. I walked around the Birth Center for all of 5 minutes and I was already feeling contractions so breaking my water worked and no need for Pitocin (I was soooo happy I didn't need it). At 4pm I got into the tub and labored there for the next two hours. Those couple of hours were pretty bad since I felt like I didn't have a break between contractions due to a stomach ache. At 6pm my midwife had me go back to the bed to check me and I was 7cm and fully effaced. Right before I was about to go back into the tub I threw up more than I ever have in my life and my stomach felt sooo much better. I got into the tub and it honestly felt euphoric between contractions - my midwife said she loved labors like this when moms get sleepy in between contractions and can really relax. I had to have the external heart rate monitors on the whole time (thankfully they are water proof) since Finn's heart rate dipped a few times but the pressure of the bands actually felt good to me. Then the contractions really started to get bad and my midwife asked me what I was scared of because she could tell I was holding back during my past two contractions. I told her the pain was horrible so she told me to just tell myself "open" during contractions and to really try to relax my body and moan through them. This was the best thing she could have said as I literally felt myself opening during each contraction as I told myself "open." I have to admit that I did ask for an epidural but Tom told me I would be so upset with myself if I got one and of course he was right, plus my midwife said I was too far along to get one anyways.

Then I felt the need to push although it was not this overwhelming need that I had read about, it just felt like the right thing to do and I felt like I was telling myself I wanted the contractions to be over with and pushing would do that. As I got out of the tub and headed towards the bed my midwife let me know that they had to call the OB in since Finn's heart rate had dipped below 80 for too long so they had to have her there as a precaution. The OB told me that if his heart rate dipped again for an extended period of time I might have to have a vacuum delivery or an emergency c-section. All I wanted was for my baby to be safe so I agreed to it on the terms that I was ok with that as long as it was indeed an emergency but that I wanted to try to push on my own first. The doctor said that was totally ok so the pushing started. The pushing definitely relieved the pain of the contractions but it is honestly the hardest thing I have ever done. I had to push lying on my back since it was the only position Finn's heart rate stayed constant at so I had to do all of the work myself and there was no gravity to help. After about 45 minutes of pushing a bunch of other nurses and two pediatricians came in just in case and they pumped me full of saline and inserted a catheter in case of a c-section. The doctor told me that the baby's heart rate was dropping again and I had to push him out now or I would need a c-section. I was exhausted but all I wanted was for my baby to be out and safe so I pushed harder than I had and finally his head was out. They said a few more pushes during the next contraction and he would be out but for some reason he wasn't coming out and I could tell something was wrong. They had me flip on all fours to push then back to my back to push and then finally my midwife saw his hand and shoulder were stuck so she put her hand in and pulled out his arm (probably the most painful part of the entire labor and the only time I literally screamed in pain). That entire time felt like forever but was actually only 2 minutes. In the next push he was finally out at 7:49pm (4.5 hours after my water was broke), but since his heart rate had dropped they cut his cord right away and the pediatrician took him to look him over. Tom went over with him and all I kept asking was if he was ok since he hadn't cried yet. He finally cried but all anyone would say was "don't worry."

1 week old!

After what felt like forever (but was really 6 minutes) they put Finn on my chest and it was the most amazing and surreal moment of my life. It is so true that the labor and pain completely disappears once you hold your baby and is the best feeling in the world.

I was at first disappointed that Finn's cord was cut so quickly since I wanted to wait for it to stop pulsating but I learned that his first APGAR score was very low and that he had needed oxygen so I am now grateful that my midwife called everyone in and made that decision. At my two week follow up my midwife told me that the average pushing time for a first time mom is 2 hours and I pushed for 1 hour even with my baby getting stuck. My midwife said that she believes I was able to push so effectively because I worked out throughout my entire pregnancy and that it's the reason I didn't need a c-section. I am so happy I pushed myself to continue to workout even when it was just walking fast with Tom.

The labor itself was a little traumatizing with all the doctors and nurses they had to call in and not knowing if my baby was going to be ok. I never felt the ring of fire during pushing and I miraculously only had a 1 degree tear. I also had a labial tear which is not something that is discussed very often but is fairly common especially with big babies (Finn was 9lbs 6oz). Once the swelling went down this was very painful and I honestly would cry when going to the bathroom it stung so bad. The stinging finally went away after 2.5 weeks, but there is not much information available about it and it is not something that can be stitched due to the skin being so thin there.

As intense and as fast as Finn's birth was, I wouldn't change a thing and I am so happy I had a completely natural birth, it was definitely worth it! I couldn't have done it without Tom though, he encouraged me the entire time, was so strong when things got hectic and is the reason I didn't worry and was able to push as hard as I did. I didn't sleep that first night I was so happy and overjoyed that our baby was finally here - I held him and stared at him the whole night.

We are so in love with our little man and love being parents to Finn - it has completely changed our lives for the better and I couldn't ask for anything more!!!

2.5 weeks old!

Overload of Finnegan Pictures!

Since Tom and I have decided that we don't want to post a ton of pictures of Finnegan on Facebook, we thought the blog would be a better spot since most of our friends and family follow it. Not that we won't post pictures at all on Facebook, we just don't want to post hundreds of pictures there. 

So here are a ton of pictures for family and friends and followers to enjoy...you've been warned!

P.S. I'll post a birth story at some point over the next couple of weeks [ it could take awhile to write ] so that some of the pictures make more sense!

Waiting for the midwife to come to the birth center at the hospital and break my water!

This was the first time I had ever been admitted to a hospital before [besides when I was born] so obviously we had to document the proof!

Finnegan Hartin Poole

Excuse my massively puffy face, but I almost had to have an emergency c-section so they pumped me full of saline which I didn't end up needing so ensues the swollen face!

My love for this man doubled when I saw this for the first time...

About to give Finn his first "bath."

The only part he liked, having his hair washed.

Loving his swaddle!

My mom holding her first grandchild!

My dad holding his first grandchild!

Getting ready to go home!

Obviously we needed a close up of his adorable going home outfit!

About to leave the hospital! Don't let Finn fool you, he loves the car and passes out the second it starts to move!

Just a few more since he's just so darn cute!

His hand is by his face 90% of the time - also part of the reason he was stuck during labor!

Passed out in Aunt Jess' arms.

Ubu decided to join us on the couch this morning even though there was only about an inch of room for all 76lbs of him!

Little Man's Nursery!

As I sit here at 41 weeks pregnant, I figured what better than to give you all a tour of our little man's nursery!

We wanted something very neutral with a mix of modern and vintage. The room is super tiny so we kept everything pretty light except for the dark blue carpet. The carpet, armoire, dresser and curtains are all from ikea; Tom made the tall shelf with the lamp and Tom painted the green shelf that my grandpa (my mom's father that passed away when I was 1.5) made me when I was a baby. 

You'll notice that there is a futon in the room but no crib - we are co-sleeping with a sidecar crib so the crib is in our room next to our bed and the futon has nowhere else to go so we kept it in the nursery in case we need the extra bed for guests besides the one in our guest bedroom. 

So take a look and sorry for the crummy pictures but I took them in the morning and the light was pretty terrible but I didn't want to wait hehe!

Shelf my Poppy made for me that we painted emerald green (also the color of our dining room).

Tom made the picture frames for the prints since they were kind of an awkward size.

Tom drew this mural as a surprise for me! We were gonna do a huge animal mural but knowing this isn't our forever house I didn't want to get attached to an amazing mural and then have to leave it - I know I'm crazy but I'm very sentimental and emotional!

We put the changing pad on top of the dresser and the shelf to the right is the one Tom made.

One of my roommates and good friends from college actually MADE the stuffed monkey! The lamp is a wedding gift from our little man's godparents and is perfect for the room!

Curtains and rug are from Ikea. And the oar is one Tom's parents got him for Christmas a few years ago. Tom rowed all through college and of course I have to brag and say they won states his senior year which hadn't been done in a few decades by his team so the oar is perfect!

The ladder looking thing the quilt is hanging on is actually the fourth side to our crib that we took off for our sidecar crib. 

I love math so the abacus was my idea and the John Deer truck is Tom's when he was a kid. 

The metal milk carton is from a little antique store in Vermont that I pass every time I go to my midwife. 

The light colored wine box is actually the box we used as our card holder at our wedding and the mini shelf is an antique we picked up on our last trip to Ithaca. We had the guests at our baby shower that my mom threw bring books with notes to the baby in them instead of cards so we have a great start to our kids book collection!

I love how our little man's nursery came out and I can't wait any longer for him to enjoy too!!! I'm writing this on Monday and posting it on Tuesday so hopefully he is here by the time it posts - one can only hope :)

40 Weeks

Picture from 40w1d but I am now 40w3d as I write this!

How far along?: 40 weeks and 1 day in this picture

Maternity clothes: Still mostly regular clothes but most of my tank tops are a little too short to wear now!

Best moment this week: Going to the midwife and having her tell me she doesn't think I'll make it through the weekend without having this baby!

Symptoms: Still pretty tired but I officially had my last day of work on Tuesday. I'm afraid that the stress of work is not allowing me to relax enough which is why he isn't out yet! Last week at the midwife I was 2cm and 70% effaced and this week I was 3cm, 80% effaced, cervix is very soft and he's at -1 station so the progression in a week is awesome and its why they think I'm coming any day now. I also had my membranes stripped while I was there this week for an extra jump start which was a little more painful than I expected but she said it's because I have a high cervix to begin with and because he's so ready. So TMI (at least for those who haven't had babies or aren't pregnant since I've learned there's no such thing as TMI with someone who is with child or has given birth) I had bloody show on Saturday which is very good and then again yesterday after the procedure, a few times during the day and then in the middle of the night and this morning which is a good sign that I've had it more than just the once after the procedure. I haven't had any contractions yet but I've had much more pressure than normal!

Movement: He is still a very active boy! 

Food cravings: I wanted nachos last night but figured that would not be a good meal to eat if I were to go into labor so I didn't give in!

Have you started to show yet?: Oh yes! 

Gender prediction: It's a boy!

Mood: So impatient!!! I'm beyond ready for him to come out! My co-worker who was due two weeks after me went into labor yesterday and another old co-worker of mine who was due a week after me had her baby today. Granted this was the second for both of them, but I'm so jealous and want him to come NOW!

Looking forward to: Meeting our little man, sharing his name (I honestly think this is the longest I've ever kept a personal secret from any of my best friends and family) and becoming a family of 3!

I'm really hoping that not being at work and being able to relax will help labor start. I took a bath this morning (we have a miniature tub but it was better than nothing) and then went and got my hair cut since that's always my go to when I want to unwind and feel good about myself. I haven't gained any weight in two weeks and I've been measuring a week small (39cm this week instead of 40cm) for the past two weeks which is also a sign that my body is ready to labor so now its up to the little man to make his entrance, we're all waiting for him!!!

38 Weeks

Sorry for all of the bathroom pictures, life is busy now and I'm too tired lazy to erase and draw every week on the chalkboard!

How far along?: 38 weeks 

Maternity clothes: Still mostly regular clothes but most of my tank tops are a little too short to wear now!

Best moment this week: Going to the reservoir to swim this weekend with the pup in the beautiful weather.  

Symptoms: Pretty much exhausted! I definitely have carpel tunnel which wakes me up at least 4 times during the night making my hand tingle and hurt wicked bad. And of course there is nothing I can do for it other than stretch it and try not to use my wrist that much - which is hard since I'm a graphic designer and its my right wrist which is on a mouse all day. It should go away once the baby is born and my hormones are back to normal - or at least I'm hoping it does!

Movement: He is still a very active boy! 

Food cravings: Nothing really, but I would love some good Mexican food but that's nothing out of the ordinary.

Have you started to show yet?: Oh yes! 

Gender prediction: It's a boy!

Mood: Impatient! I just want him to come already!!!

Looking forward to: Our little man's arrival! I'm writing this at 38w6d so we have just about a week or so left and I'm now very impatient!

37 Weeks

How far along?: 37 weeks 

Maternity clothes: Still mostly non-maternity with stretchy skirts and dresses, but I'm kinda getting tired of wearing the same things. And some of my shirts/tanks are getting a little short and don't cover my bump - especially my workout clothes!

Best moment this week: Having Thursday off for July 4th and doing nothing! I took a three hour nap and I never nap but I'm just completely exhausted these days even after a good [ as good as it can be ] nights rest.  

Symptoms: Very tired and exhausted just climbing stairs takes a lot these days it seems. I've been having a lot of pressure and lightening pains the past week - good signs! 

Movement: He is still a very active boy - and Tom felt his hiccups the other night too which was really cool. 

Food cravings: Nothing really, but I have to have my mint chocolate chip ice cream every night!

Have you started to show yet?: Oh yes! 

Gender prediction: It's a boy!

Mood: Impatient! I just want him to come already!!!

Looking forward to: Relaxing this weekend with nothing to do. Nesting is definitely a real thing so I'm going to continue my cleaning frenzy this weekend!

I thought I'd do a little comparison to see how big this little man has really gotten!

Same shirt looks a little different now - I'm really hoping I look that little again some day! I love my clothes and especially my jeans - I will be a size 2 again [ we can't afford a new wardrobe for me anyways haha ]!

36 Weeks

How far along?: 36 weeks 

Maternity clothes: Still mostly non-maternity with stretchy skirts and dresses. Loving this new red skirt I got at J.Crew a few weeks ago!

Best moment this week: Going to one of my best friends, Carly's, wedding this past weekend! There are four of us from high school that are still best friends (Carly being one of the four) and the other three of us were in her wedding party so we had a ton of fun and it was sooo nice to catch up since we don't get to see each other nearly enough!   

Symptoms: Still tired but getting use to it. I've also been having some pelvic pains which is my pelvic bone stretching and getting ready! 

Movement: He is so active and he doesn't really kick much anymore its just constant moving and pushing. And I love that I can really tell the difference between kicks and hiccups now, hiccups are so cute!

Food cravings: Nothing really, but I have to have my mint chocolate chip ice cream every night!

Have you started to show yet?: Oh yes! 

Gender prediction: It's a boy!

Mood: Happy that these next few weeks will hopefully fly by with all we have going on so he'll be here before we know it!

Looking forward to: Not having anywhere to go anymore! As much as I love to travel and I'm happy we have seen so many of our friends this summer, it is exhausting and I'm tired and all I want to do is just stay home, relax and nest!

P.S. sorry for the lack of posts last week, I had a ton of freelance to finish up and it took first priority!

34 Weeks

How far along?: 34 weeks 

Maternity clothes: Still mostly non-maternity with stretchy skirts and dresses. I got a new stretchy red skirt from J.Crew and its so cute and I can wear it after so double plus!

Best moment this week: Going to Maine for our best friend's wedding! All of our college friends were there and we had a TON of fun all weekend catching up.   

Symptoms: Still a little tired but not as bad as before, but still pretty exhausted after a long weekend in Maine. 

Movement: So active! Tom even saw my stomach moving for the first time since every time I saw "look my stomach is moving!" he stops moving and Tom can't see it!

Food cravings: Nothing really.

Have you started to show yet?: Oh yes! Everyone at the wedding was so nice and said I was all belly and looked awesome - making a pregnant lady feel great even if it is a little bit of a lie!

Gender prediction: It's a boy!

Mood: Happy that these next few weeks will hopefully fly by with all we have going on so he'll be here before we know it!

Looking forward to: A relaxing weekend. Tom has to work this weekend but I have nothing to do but nest! I have had the urge to nest a little but I'm exhausted at the end of the day so this weekend the house will be getting a deep clean!!!

Tom took some maternity pics of me on our way to Maine when we stopped in Ogunquit, ME and went to the beach. My dad grew up in Maine and went there as a kid a lot during the summer and I can see why! Here are a few more of the pictures!