I'm sure every new mom has many worries about, well, being a mom. Don't get me wrong I am a little worried I will completely screw our little man up somehow but honestly I've always had motherly instincts and feel that I will know what to do when the time comes. Right now my biggest worry is about my relationship with Tom. We decided to go to Boston on a whim a few weekends ago and had so much fun together, we always do, but as we were laying in bed all I could think was that next time we go to Boston [ most likely not on a whim ] we will have a baby, or maybe two by the time we get there again. I'm worried we'll both be so wrapped up in the baby and kids that we'll forget about each other and not connect like we use to. It's been just the two of us for almost 9 years its kind of hard to imagine it any different. We are obviously both beyond thrilled to be having this baby and want a big family but it's change, it's good change, but change nonetheless.
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| Climbed a mountain, drank a beer at the top :) |
We know that having a baby will change our lives and what we do - like going to Boston on a whim - but just like my parents did with me, we plan on taking this baby everywhere with us - out to dinner like normal, to the grocery store, TJMaxx [ it's the only store anywhere near us haha ], to visit our parents as often as normal, to visit our friends in Maine, and anywhere else we want to go.
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| On our honeymoon! |
I know we will both love this baby more than we could ever imagine loving each other so I worry about us loosing sight of one another or that I'm going to get so wrapped up in the baby that Tom feels like I've forgotten about him. We know date nights are important, but with no family around that will be hard once the baby is born and we've already decided that we don't want to leave the baby with a sitter - even our parents for the first year since that is when bonding is the most important. We do have a wedding to go to in October in NJ so my parents are coming with us and will watch the baby when we are at the reception so weddings are really the only exception to our first year rule.
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| At a VT brewery two years ago for Tom's 25th birthday. I surprised him with a brewery tour to 6 different breweries around VT and a night in Burlington. |
Is it normal to have this worry? Or am I just not as good with change as I thought I was? Maybe this whole idea sounds crazy to most, and I know deep down Tom and I will be fine and I'm really worrying over nothing, we've made it through a lot over the last 9 years, but baby makes three and it has only been two for a very long time!
Nope. I'm just as worried as you are. But I really think it is what YOU make it. I have friends who center their children around their marriage (that's what I personally believe should happen) and then I have friends who center their marriage and lives around their kids. Our child will obviously be SUPER important to us, but I never want our children to be more important than Ryan and our marriage. I think if you work to maintain a healthy marriage above all else, that's the best thing you can do for your kids anyways (:
ReplyDeleteAnd our friends who don't center their lives around the kids? They travel all the time, go out and do things, and the kids just come with. They have much more flexible kids than the families I know where the kids think everything centers around them.